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Act 1: Welcome to my world

Hello, I’m Padani. This newsletter was born unexpectedly—perhaps during one of my promenades through the streets of Paris. The thought of sharing my most personal musings, reflections, and favorite discoveries felt daunting at first. But isn’t that where growth happens? Beyond the comfort zone? So, I took the leap, and here we are.

One thing I’ve come to understand is that, while countless people navigate this thing called life, your experience of it is uniquely your own—a one-of-a-kind, customized journey. What you have to share with the world is entirely irreplaceable, something no one else can replicate.

Yet, what often holds us back from inviting others into our mini-universes is the fear of being perceived—the fear of truly being seen. This is my next step toward conquering that fear, an act of courage to open myself up and become a mirror for others.

If you’re reading this, you’ve stepped into a space crafted for connection and curiosity—a space where I’ll be sharing my innermost thoughts, inspirations, and discoveries each month.

Welcome to my world—I’m so glad you’re here.

1. Witnessed Themes in my life

2. Witnessed Quotes

3. Witnessed readings

Witnessed themes in my life

Becoming comfortable with the unknown

As humans, we crave and seek safety on a daily basis. For much of my life, I found solace in planning and structure—organizing my days, months, and even years ahead. Planning two years into the future felt like a natural extension of my need for control. Yet, over time, I began to notice that this rigidity left little room for spontaneity or true alignment with my desires.

Recently, I made the conscious decision to stop filling my calendar with work and commitments that weren’t aligned with my values or goals. I resisted the urge to plan every detail and instead embraced the uncertainty of an open year. This past year has been a profound teacher. It revealed subconscious patterns, ushered in ego deaths, and ultimately brought me back to truths my soul already knew. Learning to sit with the unknown has been a challenging yet liberating journey.

Learning to be perceived by many

The biggest lesson of the second half of 2024 was uncovering a self-sabotaging pattern rooted in my fear of being seen. As humans, we were never biologically designed to be perceived by so many people at once. Sharing creative work or putting oneself in the public eye invites in judgment and rejection. This fear can paralyze us, making it difficult to even try.

Over these past months, I’ve been dismantling these patterns, going inward to uncover their root causes, and allowing myself to let them go. Though they were there to protect me, they are keeping me in a protected glas castle. They prevent me from showcasing and sharing my authentic self with others.

Letting go of patterns and people that no longer serve me

People are habits. They become routines in our lives, soothing or triggering certain parts of us. Sometimes, these dynamics reveal areas we need to heal, let go of, or transform. However, comfort isn’t always synonymous with alignment. Some people may feel familiar or safe, but that doesn’t mean they are the right poeple for our growth.

At some point, I had to assess the mirrors and reflectors around me. Were the people in my life pushing me to grow and evolve? Or were they enabling my comfort zone and self-sabotaging patterns? I asked myself hard questions: Do these relationships challenge me to be better? Do they hold me accountable? Or are they simply echo chambers for the version of me that feels safe and unchallenged?

These reflections led me to make significant shifts. I upgraded my mindset and the circle of people I choose to surround myself with. This isn’t to say those I left behind were bad or wrong; everyone has their own journey and timeline and I let them go with love. But sometimes, we must part ways to honor our unique paths.

Witnessed Quotes

The idea that anger arises from a source of self-love is profound. Anger can serve as activation energy for action and change. Thinking of it as a feeling rooted in love challenges the common portrayal of anger as violent and the shameful narratives tied to this. This perspective made me view anger differently.

This deeply resonated with me, as I wrote an essay on this topic myself. The generational wealth that everyone receives is so vastly different that, most of the time, we don’t even have the same starting points as our peers. Grieving this reality and coming to terms with it is undoubtedly the most painful but liberating experience.

One of my biggest lessons this year was realizing that chasing the wrong things—those not aligned with your values—can lead to disconnection from your authentic self. This disconnection erodes self-trust and respect. Why? Because you’re sending a message—to others and to yourself—that your authentic self isn’t worthy of being seen. You’re signaling that betraying your own values and compromising who you are is acceptable, all in an effort to please others, avoid offense, or stay in line.

Staying true to yourself isn’t just a choice; it’s essential. When you’re disconnected, you start seeking validation from others, falling into a constant state of proving your worth. This creates a vicious cycle of feeling inadequate and perpetuating beliefs rooted in scarcity.

Witnessed readings

I am currently reading Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. It has been on my reading list for quite a while but I only recently picked it up. It was quite an awakening read. It explores womens intuition and uses narratives to study the wild women archetype. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in seeing Carl Jung’s individuation process applied to the female psyche.

“Be wild; that is how to clear the river. The river does not flow in polluted, we manage that. The river does not dry up, we block it. If we want to allow it its freedom, we have to allow our ideational lives to be let loose, to stream, letting anything come, initially censoring nothing. That is creative life. It is made up of divine paradox. To create one must be willing to be stone stupid, to sit upon a throne on top of a jackass and spill rubies from one’s mouth. Then the river will flow, then we can stand in the stream of it raining down.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves